When life feels loud, fast, or just too much, one of the most empowering things we can learn is how to soothe ourselves — to bring a sense of calm to our own body and mind.
Self-soothing is the ability to regulate our own nervous system when we’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed. It’s not about pushing our feelings away or pretending everything’s fine. Instead, it’s about noticing when we’re activated or unsettled, and gently guiding ourselves back toward a sense of steadiness and safety.
This skill is particularly valuable for those who have experienced trauma, heightened sensitivity, or chronic stress — where the nervous system can become easily dysregulated.
What self-soothing can look like
There’s no single “right way” to self-soothe — what works for one person may not for another. But the goal is always the same: to send signals of safety and support to your body.
Here are a few simple, accessible techniques:
Deep, slow breathing — Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system (your body’s calming response).
Hold something warm — Like a mug of tea, a heat pack, or a soft blanket. Warmth can be deeply grounding and comforting.
Use touch — Place your hands on your chest, or gently wrap your arms around yourself. This can help ground you in your body and the present moment.
Listen to soothing sounds — Nature sounds, soft instrumental music, or even white noise can provide calm and predictability.
Move slowly — A gentle walk, stretching, or rocking can help discharge excess energy and bring you back to centre.
Use a grounding phrase — Something like “I’m safe right now” or “This feeling will pass” can help reorient your thinking and calm your inner dialogue.
Why it matters
When we learn to self-soothe, we begin to trust our own capacity to care for ourselves in moments of distress. Over time, these small practices help build emotional resilience — reminding the nervous system that it’s possible to come back to safety, even when things feel chaotic.
You don’t need to do it perfectly. A great step is just to begin.
